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Five Traits of Bullies with Small Dog Syndrome ... and How to Deal with Them
Dealing with People with Small Dog Syndrome
As a Coach, I wear many hats. Some days I’m developing peoples leadership skills or giving them tools and techniques to cope with change.
But over the last few years I have been helping people of all ages to regain their confidence due to bullying.
Whether it’s bullying from colleagues, peers or quite often, their line managers, there is a pattern to the behaviour that I can only describe as Small Dog Syndrome.
1. They Snap and snarl at you – They do this because they feel threatened by you. It’s not always loud and shouty, sometimes it quite quiet with undermining passive / aggressive tones. They do this to intimidate you.
2. They bark continually at others – They think that by gossiping about you, and telling lies about you to other people, that this will strengthen their case and justify their behaviour towards you. They do this because they want to change peoples perception of you and damage your integrity.
3. They try to take your bone – metaphorically speaking they want what you have, and they lack. This could be a skill, your job, your friendships, or your reputation. This is because they are jealous of you.
4. They try to destroy your toys – Sabotage for me is the lowest form of bullying. Speaking from experience, this is when they go out of their way to try and set your projects or schedule up to fail. They do this because if they put you in a position where you physically cannot complete a task, they think others will think less of you. (They didn’t succeed with me!).
5. Cowering and puppy dog eyes – This is where I personally really pity the bullies, especially in the workplace. They run to HR with a whole encyclopedia of all the things you are doing wrong, and all of a sudden you are told you have performance issues, behaviour issues, teamwork, and communication issues. OMG what an awful person you are! They do this because they failed to achieve their desired results from using the above traits, so they attempt to increase their pack size by getting HR onboard with their beliefs.
Now, if you are reading this and have been on the receiving end of any of the above, you will know it’s not nice. Bullying can be so debilitating that it affects your work, your home life, your relationships, and your mental health.
You develop paranoia and trust issues, you struggle to sleep and become so anxious to the point you cannot function normally. But you can get through this, you are stronger than you think.
FIVE TIPS AND TECHNIQUES TO DEAL WITH BULLIES:
1. REFRAMING – This technique is good for helping you to step back and view your thoughts and feelings of the negative situation differently. Remember, these people are not the large dangerous breed, they are just small dogs with attitude that need training. This technique will help with feelings of intimidation.
2. THE BELL JAR – Imagine you are inside a large bell jar that covers you from head to toe. When you are inside the bell jar, nothing can penetrate it’s protective layer. Alternatively, visualise placing your bully inside a jam jar and screwing the lid on tightly. Watch as they squirm and tap the glass to get out. (If you focus your mind on this, rather than their words or behaviour, you distance yourself mentally from them at that moment in time.
3. Remain true to yourself, it will annoy them. If they are not getting a reaction from you, it rattles them, and they will eventually give up and move on.
4. Reach out to others, chances are they are serial bullies, and keep a log for evidence.
5. Walk away from the environment. If your organisation supports a toxic culture and has a dysfunctional HR team who find it easier to side with bullies (especially if they are fellow managers), then walk away. Remember it takes more courage and bravery to walk away than to stay. This is certainly not failure on your part, and the organisation definitely do not deserve to have you working for them.
Bonus Tip: The next time a bully approaches you and starts trying to intimidate you, just look them in the eyes and say:
I know a really great coach who helps people with Small Dog Syndrome, would you like her number!
Or, if you would like to learn some more techniques, just reach out, and remember YOU GOT THIS.
Meditation brings a sense of calm, peace, and balance to your mind, body & soul. Have you tried combining it with chocolate? It's pure bliss! Chocolate meditation is a type of mindfulness meditation that involves focusing on the experience of eating chocolate. It is a way to slow down and savour the taste, smell, and texture of chocolate, and to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. To do a chocolate meditation, you will need a piece of chocolate that you enjoy. You can use any type of chocolate, but dark chocolate is often recommended because it is more intense in flavour. Once you have your chocolate, find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. As you breathe, focus on the sensations in your body. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, the feeling of the air entering and leaving your nostrils, and the way your body feels as you breathe. When you are ready, open your eyes and look at the chocolate. Notice the colour, the shape, and the texture. Hold the chocolate in your hand and feel its weight. Bring the chocolate to your nose and inhale its aroma. Notice the different notes in the smell. Now, take a small bite of the chocolate. Let it melt in your mouth before you chew it. Notice the different flavours and textures. Pay attention to the way the chocolate makes you feel. Continue to eat the chocolate slowly and mindfully. Savour each bite. When you are finished, take a few more deep breaths, and open your eyes. Chocolate meditation can be a relaxing and enjoyable way to connect with your senses and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. It can also be a way to reduce stress and anxiety. If you find that your mind wanders during the meditation, simply bring your attention back to the chocolate. Here are some tips for doing a chocolate meditation: • Choose a comfortable place to sit or lie down. • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. • Focus on the sensations in your body. • Notice the colour, shape, and texture of the chocolate. • Hold the chocolate in your hand and feel its weight. • Bring the chocolate to your nose and inhale its aroma. • Take a small bite of the chocolate and let it melt in your mouth. • Notice the different flavours and textures. • Pay attention to the way the chocolate makes you feel. • Continue to eat the chocolate slowly and mindfully. • Savour each bite. • When you are finished, take a few more deep breaths, and open your eyes.
In this Edition I provide tips and advice on how to look after your wellbeing, and why you only need one New Year Resolution.
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In this edition, I cover the three dreaded 'S' words of September. Look inside for tips and advice on how to feel good and feel better this month.
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Summer's here, exams are coming to an end, and everybody is ready for a break. Whether you are going away or enjoying a fabulous staycation, make sure to plan in some 'me time'.
This month as we celebrate the Platinum Jubilee of Her Majesty the Queen, I have created two special blends to mark the occasion. English Rose and Lily of the Valley - The Queen's favourite flower. Look out for special offers and discounts on these two beautiful blends.
As we recently celebrated World Bee Day, I wanted to promote the many benefits of Bees to our health and our environment, and why I support my local Bee Keeping Community. Bees play a significant role in maintaining biodiversity through pollination of plants and improving the quality of agricultural production. They are needed for pollinating around 75% of the food crops that we eat. Bees produce various products in their hives including, honey, wax, and royal jelly, all with amazing healing and health benefits. When you buy these products, from me or your local Beekeeper, you are supporting the Beekeeping Community who help prevent the decline of pollinators. Below are some of the many benefits we gain from these beautiful creatures and their products: HONEY: Who doesn’t like honey on their cereal. Honey not only tastes absolutely amazing, but it is also used as an ingredient in beauty products. It has antibacterial properties that can help fight infections and heal wounds. TOP TIP - Try a big squeeze of honey, a teaspoon of brandy, and a splash of lemon juice in a cup of hot water next time you have a cold and sore throat. BEESWAX: If you’re looking for a superior product in your candles and wax melts, then it has to be Beeswax. I love burning candles and wax melts but having to redecorate my home due to the black soot that was left on my ceilings and walls after buying paraffin candles was a nightmare. But what I did notice when I swapped to Beeswax was how much cleaner the air quality in my home was and how much my hayfever and allergy symptoms lessoned. The more I investigated the benefits of Beeswax and realised how much more of an investment they were on my health (and my husbands, who is an asthma sufferer), the more hooked I became on them. Hence why now I have adapted some of my blends for beeswax products. Beeswax candles and wax melts may be more expensive to buy, but the quality of the products and amazing health benefits far out way the initial outlay because: • THEY’RE 100% NATURAL - Because the beeswax is produced within the hive, they are a renewable resource. They contain no toxins or chemicals, unlike paraffin candles. • THEY HAVE A SLOW AND CLEAN BURN - Due to its high melting point, Beeswax candles and wax melts last a lot longer than paraffin products, so you buy less, and less frequently. • NO BLACK SOOT RESIDULE - 100% pure Beeswax candles and melts do not leave black soot stains on walls and ceilings; this is my pet hate with paraffin candles. (If you burn paraffin candles, go and wipe one of your walls and see if you notice the soot build up) • AIR PURIFYERS - Ever noticed how after a good lightning storm the air feels cleaner and fresher. When you burn Beeswax candles, they produce negative ions, which attach themselves to the positive ions in airborne pollutants such as dirt, pollen, viruses, and dust, and neutralises them. These pollutants then fall to the ground, which we subsequently clean up through vacuuming and polishing. • GREAT FOR ASTHMA AND ALLERGY SUFFERERS – Due to their purifying properties, beeswax is great for reducing symptoms associated with hayfever, asthma and allergies. • NATURAL COLOUR - They have a natural golden colour and emit a warm and ambient light that is within the same colour spectrum as the sun. • NATURAL SCENT – beeswax produces a natural scent straight from the honeycomb. It has a beautiful delicate honey and floral scent that varies based on the flowers and plants they have pollinated. They also blend really well with 100% pure essential oils, so you can really benefit from Aromatherapy. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY SOME OF MY BEESWAX BABY BEES FOR FREE? Pop on over to Facebook and join my group ‘ LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE WITH AROMATHERAPY’ Just introduce yourself and comment BEE BLOG. Click the link below: https://www.facebook.com/groups/liveyourbestlifewitharomatherapy My group is private and provides Tips, Recipes and more for anyone wanting to learn or benefit from Aromatherapy and improve their mental health and wellbeing. Thank you for reading Julie www.Glomatherapy.co.uk
A community for people who need some 'Me Time' My core values for the Group are: WELLNESS - taking care of each other and our mental health CONNECTION - supporting each other and sharing experiences, and ENCOURAGEMENT - it's ok not to be ok Come on in for Tips, Essential Oil Recipes, Special Offers, and a chat over a cuppa, the kettle is always on Julie xx https://www.facebook.com/groups/liveyourbestlifewitharomatherapy
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